DECOY MAKER'S LAMENT

Christmas has come and gone, I bought my wife a newly sharpened spear.

Though she hasn't been in a dark house in our marriage of twenty seven years.

My wife had her heart set on a washer/dryer instead of a fishing spear, Or maybe even a diamond ring, better luck next year.

To have some fish filets for supper would be so very nice,

But I want to know does your insurance cover falling through the ice?

The TV says the weather is bad; to go out would be a grave mistake, But I feel the dark house calling and I'm heading for the lake.

The snow is horizontal and wind is blowing hard.

The DNR won't be out in this, they can't find their way out of the yard! ~

The ice is too thin out there it wouldn't support a mouse. Relatives are too thick; I have to get out of the house.

I'm heading out to my dark house on my brand new snowmobile. Luck today will come my way, my ego to make it real.

The good old DNR keep pushing for size limits of spearing fish.

As if a fish wore a yardstick, to comply with such an outlandish wish.

The DNR says I can't lock my dark house, they're to dam hard to please. I bet they fear this spearing year, I'll practice filet and release.

I would have made my mother's funeral; the family sees not going as a mistake. But I heard a fella speared a big one, out on my favorite lake.

I've got my favorite decoy, lined up in my decoy box.

I'm wearing insulated overshoes and battery heated socks.

Fish decoys colors are so vibrant, every color known to man. Some from metal, some of wood, or an old Prince Albert can.

Fish decoy making is fun and art; it makes use of your gifted skill. A craft that sets us all apart and gives real fish a thrill.

My Viking fish is purple and gold, it looks very mean his Mustache, horns, and beady eyes, Hager the horrible fits the scene.

I made a decoy from a deer jawbone, with all its teeth intact.

The coyotes chased me all over the ice and that's a natural fact.

I made a decoy called Minnesota Twins, mounted side by side, But they couldn't fund a stadium that the people could abide.

I made a decoy called Lutefisk; you could smell it for a mile.

Its skunk markings and Copenhagen can gills would make a statue smile.

Some decoys are patriotic, or Red and White and blue, Some are painted random of every shade and hue.

Some decoy makers fish look like they just came right out of the lake.

Mine look like they are government or committee created or a monumental mistake.

When they bury me I want a decoy in my left hand and one in my right hand.

Cause there is bound to be a dark house in that far and distant land.

When I do go to heaven, I don't want a harp to play.

Just put me in a dark house with a big fish decoy array.

Old St. Pete's got a frozen Lake staked out; it's a sure and certain bet. I want to take my spear with me, my license ain't expired yet.

The spearing season's over my dark house is off the ice.

I think I'll go to Perham to sell or trade a decoy would be nice.

I'll see all the old timers who bring their decoys along.

I'll get some spears, shed some tears and end my decoy song.

- Otis W. Lael -